Today was one of those days.

Nothing happened according to schedule, and by the time I was finally sitting down to get some work done, it was almost 4:00…

I also listened to a podcast about television writing that made me feel really anxious about how I’ve been using my time, a la, writing the novel now that I’ve finished only the one pilot script. Ie- perhaps I should be moving on to my next pilot script now instead of a novel project.

So, that was stressful…I talked with Liz about it, and she posed the question “why not both?” which is something to consider.

The result was me spending a lot of time today thinking about how I should be spending my time. I would really like to be spending more time writing…this is absolutely true. But, BUT…I’m also very happy with the paychecks that are rolling in right now because of how disciplined I’ve become with my editing work.

Today really went off the rails, however, because of apartment duties (and a haircut). That never fails to frustrate me to no end. The only reason I got any work done today was because the Ho was amazing enough to accompany our electrician around on the various repairs while I sat down and make a small dent in the day’s work, as well as taking the Coops on his nighttime walk.

So, it wasn’t a complete loss, this is true. I also had a legitimate hour and a half or so at the beginning of the day, right after returning from the haircut, where it was just dealing with sendbacks. Sendbacks are where I get notes from the content reviewers about what needs to be fixed, I go in and fix that stuff, and then re-submit it back to them. It’s a super normal part of the process. But, it can cause a complete halt in producing NEW material when the sendbacks all come in at one time, which is what happened yesterday and today. Usually, it’s a trickle, OR I get all my sendbacks on one of my days “off,” and they don’t prevent me from getting new work done. Not so today.

And that podcast…

I mean, I’m not stupid or delusional. I realize that I’m going to have to write a bunch of scripts before I can really step into the TV world. But then again, I was also really looking forward to writing the novel. It just seems like such a huge project, something that I can really hang a sign on and say that I did something this year. But am I wasting my time by doing it? Simply, yes. I am. In reference to getting a TV job, anyway. So, the better question is: should I be doing it right now?

My gut tells me that the answer to that is yes. Writing prose is how I first fell in love with all this. I kind of feel like it’s something that I need to get out of my system. Not that it’s a “tune up” or “practice,” but there’s no hiding from finding your voice when you’re writing a novel. It’s just so many words. I’m bound to run into myself eventually.

And, then there’s what the Ho asked. Why not both? And, that’s a completely fair idea. Why NOT both? With a “do less more often” mentality, anything is possible with discipline.

Whenever I have one of these days where I hear something about the TV industry and “where I should be,” I always have the urge to figure out a way to drop everything, and carve out a couple weeks to a month to just focus completely on writing. Pile everything in together and just get everything done in one colossal push. Like I used to do when I was younger.

But…that’s not how my life is any more. It’s really not. The bills will never go away. Neither will my job duties, or those responsibilities to my better halves in Liz and Cooper. It’s different now. It’s not bingeing. It’s consistency. Carving out my corners every day. And that is tough, guys. Very tough. I still struggle with it every day.

And, maybe carving out a week or two here or there ahead of time CAN be part of my future method. But, right now, it needs to be the daily grind that produces my pages. So, I will continue to fight for that tomorrow, and leave behind today’s frustration in these blog pages.

Wish me luck.