Early-ish post today, planning on going to bed early, I think. I have to work tomorrow, feeling better or not. It’s reached that point.
I *do* feel better today; the only thing is this new chest congestion, which is very worrisome because it could mean secondary infection. Dun-dun-dunnnnnnn. I’m no doctor, but I’ve been around this whole cold/sinus infection rodeo to know that if shit moves down to your chest, it can ruin your week. Cause that means a whole ‘nother new sickness, and antibiotics, etc. Hypochondriac, much? you ask. Yup. Freely admit that. All I’m saying is that I really hope I wake up tomorrow symptom-free, or at least without a cough 😛
Wrote my letter today, like I promised, so that was awesome. Did it early in the day, too, which was great. I was able to take the afternoon to kind of relax after feeling kind of shitty. I’m such a pussy, guys, when it comes to getting sick. I really am. It just sucks. I’m used to having energy, and when I don’t…well, I turn into a whiner, apparently. I just hate being sick. I want to get stuff done, not sit around. But, growing up, the advice has always been to sit it out, rest; otherwise it will just hang around longer. I don’t know if that’s really all that true. I mean, I’m sure it is to a certain degree. Doing strenuous physical activity while sick is a no-brainer, of course that will make your immune system take a nose-dive, but the whole resting and staying in bed…seems like it might be another extreme. I don’t know. It just sucks.
Also did some laundry and remade the bed, tried to do some things I’d have done on a normal Sunday to reset my psyche and get me ready to get some work done. Made some apartment managing phone calls and set up some appointments. Sitting here feeling vaguely feverish and just antsy though kinda takes the wind out of my sails.
Writing that letter, though, was a major win today, as was calling the production company behind Hannibal to get the address to which I should send it. They didn’t answer, probably because it’s MLK day (which I realized afterwards), but I left a message and will try back in a couple days should they fail to return my call. Calling cold like that is really hard for me to do, I hate doing it. But, sometimes, it’s the single best way to get information and it has to be done. It was the same thing with getting this apartment managing gig; cold calling after sending in a resume until I got an interview. It fills me with anxiety every time I dial a number, but it has to be done. So, I’m glad I did it. There will probably be many, many more before I’m able to get my foot in the door somewhere.
So yeah…baby steps. It’s doing less, more often. I must do something each day, even tiny, to get myself where I want to be. Tomorrow, it will be editing this letter I’ve written. The day after that, probably making sure it’s mailed. The day after that, perhaps reaching out to someone else. We’ll see. It’s a freaking mountain, guys, this whole “deciding to be a writer.” I’m (almost) completely starting over. Everything is new. But if I can continue to push through on these days, even when I’m feeling down and shitastic, I think I’ll be okay.
Night!
Tonight’s artwork is courtesy of Elfwood.com