I feel more normal tonight…ahhhhhhhhh.
That’s a nice deep breath. I had a day of floating anxiety, but I did absolutely nothing, and I think that’s exactly what I needed to do. I might do it tomorrow, in fact. Not even writing, which pains me to write, but honestly…I think it was actually the right decision.
All this thinking, all this worrying and agonizing over choices and life and work and just everything…it needed to take a break. Be put on hold. Netflix and chill…if the chill part was actually just chilling 😛
I watched this *fascinating* documentary profile that PBS did back in the early aughts about T. E. Lawrence of Lawrence of Arabia fame. See, they don’t teach us about the history of the arab world here in the US. They should! It’s fascinating stuff. And what a figure Lawrence was! My god. I had no idea that he’d gone so reclusive later in his life, so desperate, that he’d enlisted SEVERAL times back into the army and navy and air force under assumed names so that the press couldn’t find him, and he could do something with himself in an environment that he was comfortable with. I mean, that’s crazy! Crazy, as in kind of larger than life, not necessarily crazy as in he was mentally disturbed…although that also sounds like it was almost certainly true. At the very least, deeply troubled and very likely a closeted homosexual which was something utterly intolerable at the time. Man, my heart goes out to all the poor gay people in our human history…they’ve been oppressed and repressed for so long…I sincerely hope that it continues to get better for them as a whole as we move forward into the human future.
Anyway, that was fun. The Ho watched a bit with me, too, when she came back from seeing a reportedly horrendous play with Aaron. Their streak is alive, it seems.
I got to watch red zone football in the morning, glorious, and then watch some of the last game of the season for the A’s, and also the 49ers get trolloped by the Packers. The A’s lost, the Niners lost…but it didn’t dampen my spirits 😛 I was just happy to sit on the couch and veg out. That’s almost all I did today. I also took a nap!
Yeah…it was just a major decompression day. I think tomorrow will be, too. We’ll see. Rent in the morning, and then I had planned on making it a major writing day, but now after having today be so anxious up until after taking my nap after forcing myself to not do anything…and now feeling how much better that’s made me feel? Well, maybe tomorrow should be more of the same. Perhaps do some cleaning around the apartment. That usually helps me get more grounded as well.
We’ll see. For now, I’ll just focus on getting a nice full night’s sleep. Good night, guys 🙂 Life is good.