Tonight’s artwork is uncredited, but awesome.
I got to hang out with Joshy-poo today and it was glorious. We just kinda caught up with each other. He wanted to give me a run-down on his schedule for his feature and talk about when he might be able to hand over an assembly for me to dig into and see if I can help him with the editing.
That, of course, turned into an extended talk about life and goals and such and such. Basically, Josh reminded me of the epiphany I had last year, which I continue to forget and remember…that happiness, life itself in fact, happens in the here and now. The future and the past are irrelevant to happiness…ie- if I want to be happy, then I need to be doing what makes me feel happy and satisfied and accomplished with my life right now. RIGHT. NOW. Not wait. Not sitting back and planning, or agonizing about what may or may not happen…just do it right now.
That way of approaching my life, my day-to-day, is largely antithetical to me as a person. I analyze, I agonize, I consider and I reconsider…but when I am at my happiest is when I am working, when I am *doing*, when my thoughts are concerned with the present instead of the future or the past.
I was most successful in this regard when I was writing my novel last year. Easily. And my happiest. I’ve come to the conclusion after all this angst that 1) I cannot have it all. I have to choose what to focus my time on day-to-day…and 2) that I have every reason to embrace the fact that writing prose, writing novels, makes me very very happy. It truly does. Why not run with that? Because it wasn’t the original plan? Why does that matter? The original plan is in the past. I am currently in the present.
I still feel a duty to myself to finish this Icarus pilot. Because I need to FINISH it. Finishing is important to me. It may also open doors for me when it’s finally done and I can send it out into the world. Doors that I can then decide if I want to walk through. But after I do…I’m focusing on writing books, man. That’s what I want to do. I think I’ve finally come to terms with that. I need to BE what I WANT. Right? Right.
I also hosted the writers’ group that I’ve been attending on and off for the last couple months, and it was especially wonderful tonight. There were some new peeps, and the food was good and the drink was good and most especially the writing was good. Everyone had something to share, and it all of it was thought provoking in some way.
It was a great day. For reals. I’m feeling more focused…oh, and I sat down first thing and I did my writing hour like I said I would. I think that kicked things off on the right foot. It was a tiring day…but a wonderful day.
Tomorrow is work. Good night, y’all.