Whew. It almost came off the tracks today completely…but I rallied, you guys. I rallied just enough to put success within reach instead of sure failure. Juuuuust enough.
I will have two hours of work tomorrow, and two hours of work on Saturday, but both are entirely do-able…and save my ass from destruction today.
It was carry-over from yesterday, and the past couple days. I think my psyche is just kinda burned out. I’ve been putting a lot of stress on myself these past several weeks, a lot of stress that to be honest isn’t necessary. I realize that tonight as I’m sitting in my bed. I really need to have more faith in myself. More faith that I figure out my path, and that I’m good at what I want to do, which is to write. One of the best decisions I ever made…the decision to focus on writing. I need to have faith that it will pay off.
I received a lot of “congrats” and love at the writers’ meeting about having finished writing a novel…and I *genuinely* sloughed it off at the time because it doesn’t *feel* like a big accomplishment right now…but I think that sentiment is in error. It *is* a major accomplishment to actually finish a novel; it’s something that some writers are never able to do, and I was ablet to do it. I’m saying that I should take that as a sign that I’m doing the right thing. That I clearly CAN do this, because I HAVE done it.
Through it all though, it’s been a period perfectly encapsulated by today. Today was a microcosm of the past month; wobbling, but not falling off the tracks. I credit Liz, my pups, my friends, and this blog for that. It hasn’t been easy, but I’ve kept it together. What I’m feeling right now, as I look back on today and the past month, is that I’m ready to leave the angst behind and replace it with focus, calmness, and confidence.
It starts tomorrow with getting those minutes done editing-wise, and then tackling Icarus with a vengeance. Scene outlining. Which isn’t to say a general outline like you might think…no I mean actually writing out the dialogue beat by beat. That’s the grunt work. After that’s done, the screenplay pages fly by.
Getting sleepy. Catch you tomorrow!