Soooo…I’d wanted to get my taxes done today. Didn’t happen.
But…I *did* get a writing hour in, and I *did* work out…that’s two days in a row. I also balanced ye old checkbook, got some narrations did…I mean, it was still a productive day. But, I seem to be determined that I shall not actually have any days completely “off” during this stretch of time that I allotted myself to take a bit of a break.
I suppose to actually take a break, I’d actually need to not work. Perhaps I’ll do that. One of these days. The work keeps calling me back, though. I guess that’s why I’m not really sweating it. I enjoy working. I do, I really do. I enjoy being productive. It’s the days where I veg out on the couch that make me anxious. I’m not sure what that says about my psyche, but it’s true. The *trick* is to make sure that I’m not working too much. That runs me into the ground, like it did a couple weeks ago. If I can balance the daily grind work with the creative work and some down time and even better yet some active time mixed in there for good measure…well, then, THERE I’m set. That’s the ideal.
I saw a video, posted by my long-lost bud Justin Giddings on the Facebooks today, that was an interview with Neil DeGrasse Tyson explaining why he’s not afraid of death…and it REALLY resonated with me. He said: “I fear living a life where I could have accomplished something and didn’t. That’s what I fear. I don’t fear death.” That. Is. Exactly. How. I. Feel. I’ve never been one to sit around and contemplate my demise. For reals. I don’t. But being dead and not having DONE anything meaningful or important in some capacity terrifies me. If I’m dead, well, I won’t know it. Or anything else, for that matter. The worrying, the fear…I can only do that while I’m alive, and it’s things in regard to my LIFE that worry me or I’m afraid of…not death. And NdGT’s point was that worry and fear can be a great motivator. It can be a great reason to get up every morning, pinpoint what it is that I *want* and then to go out and fucking get it.
Anywho…heady stuff tonight, I know. But there you go. Carpe diem guys, because eventually we’re all going to be worm food. And we can’t take it with us, we have to leave it all behind…so let’s figure out what we want to leave behind.