Today was the party primary elections here in California. There was also a state measure on the ballot, which was a little weird, but whatever. I voted. So did Liz.
We also decided today to NOT pursue an opportunity that had arisen, and instead stay put and continue doing what we are currently doing. I can’t be more specific than that, I’m afraid. This is a public blog, after all. Not one that anyone really reads, mind you, but still.
I’m sitting here in bed right now missing writing. And feeling pretty tired and worn out. Everything on my plate right now is wearing me down, and I haven’t even BEEN writing. But you know what…this is the last week that happens. That’s a goddamn promise to myself, and I’m putting it here on the blog. This is the last week without writing hour. The podcast launches next week, which means my 8pm-11pm doesn’t have to be filled with audio editing time, and that means I can do OTHER things in those hours, which means I can write in the morning.
I have to finish, you guys. I *have* to finish. Starstuff is waiting for me. The Long Way Home is waiting for me. Both are waiting to be finished. I have to do that. I realized that very accutely today.
Don’t get me wrong…I’m very excited to finish the podcast. And I’m very dedicated to finish editing my good friend’s film. I’m going to be very proud of all that, in fact. I just piled too much on all at once, and I’m feeling the weight of that and seeing its effect on my priorities.
I feel like everything is a mess right now. And I mean that in a clothes strewn about dirty desk kind of way…not like shit is fucked up…no, I mean more literally I guess. Like, disorganized. Helter-skelter. And the house is literally a mess as I look around. And so is my brain. I’ve been decently focused and productive, actually, despite it all…but I need to clean house. Literally and figuratively. I should decide when to do that. And also when to kinda collapse and just take some time to do absolutely nothing.
The latter I think will happen Thursday. But, we’ll see.
I want to sleep. Read. Watch something. Sleep some more. Go on a hike. After the sleeping. That kinda stuff.
Almost there. Just need to keep going. I know what my body is feeling is panic because I’m about to break through onto the other side of some struggle. I know that. Psychosomatic stuff.
Just need to keep on going.
I hope everyone out there voted today. It’s important. I realize that more and more each year.
Night! The Benadryl is strong with this one.
(Ps- dem allergies, doe. Out of control right now!)
Artwork tonight is by Sviatoslav Gerasimchuck.