Man, today was ONE OF THOSE DAYS…I felt so helter skelter. I did get work done (hooray), and I did get writing done…although it was a *fraction* of what I should have done. But I did actually sit down and do it…I just feel so guilty writing that, even though it IS true…it was for like 10 minutes. I feel guilty because it wasn’t what I’d agreed to do…but really I guess I feel shame because I let myself get off track. Consciously. I was about to say I “watched” it happen…which is true on one had, that’s exactly how it felt: a part of my brain going “nooooooo! Stop! Sit down and do your writing!”…but it was still all ME you guys. I still actively decided not to sit down and write like I was supposed to. It wasn’t some “other” person that did that, it was me.
But now as I write all that out and feel all that disappointment in myself and shame…I’m reminded of how important it is to keep my structure and set myself up for success. There were a few things I did this morning, like getting up late, that torpedoed me before I even started. I woke up late because I didn’t feel very good this morning, I felt like I was getting sick again. But then that made me stress about getting started on my editing work, because I was going to sit down and write when I usually start editing…then a couple other distractions came up that I let suck me in…and then it all snowballed from there. Realizing that series of dominoes makes me realize that I do have some power to fix that, to set myself up for better success.
First step: I have to get up on time tomorrow morning. So, I will. And this feeling of helter-skelter and being out of control will not be allowed to snowball any further. I am in control of my day. And when things TRULY get hijacked away from me…well, I can feel a lot less angst about that, because I *don’t* have any control over that.
With that, I leave you all. There was a massive fire that started just north of where we live – the Ho and I went up to the roof and took a look at it, and because it’s burning at the very top ridge of these mountains to the north-east of us, we could literally see the towers of flames light up the night sky. The picture for the blog tonight doesn’t nearly do it justice. It was so bright and so orange. Quite the sight to behold.
That’s all for tonight, y’all. Catch you on the flip!