…you realize that you’ve been off a day on your count for the blog, for, like two and a half months…yeah. It’s true. I mean, I guess this time at least I’m off BEHIND a day as opposed to the last time it happened where I realized I had skipped ahead TEN days. Shake me head…
I actually realized the error yesterday. Of course. The day after the big milestone…which I celebrated a day late! I counted day number 931 twice. Why? No idea. I obviously wasn’t paying attention. That was back in May, I think. Busy times, indeed.
Well, the blog has been preeeeaaaccchhyyyyy lately…so today, we kick it back to just plain old Ira and what his day was like 😛 Exhausted and lazy, that’s about it, yo. I did my writing, which was a bit rough, but only, I think because I’m about to move into this next phase of the project that’s taking some new kind of brain power. Not totally out of left field, since there’s been a fair amount of brainstorming for fixes happening up to this point…but the analysis time is over. That’s done, and being left behind. Now it’s time for solutions. And to be frank, that’s a bit intimidating. I didn’t even realize it was going to be, but it is…and so I’m just going to roll with that. If I have to move a little slower for these first couple days, so be it. Not the end of the world. Let it be. Mother Mary speaking words of wisdom, yo. Let it be.
Total tangent…but those lyrics man…they hit me like a thunderclap after my brother died. For real. Right to my core. I never understood those lyrics until after he died, and then I did. Understand them. I feel like I know EXACTLY what Paul was going through when he wrote those words – it’s this idea that when tragedy strikes, and something happens that cannot be undone…like your younger brother committing suicide…there’s nothing that can be done any more about it, and you have to let it be what it is. It cut me right to the heart of what I was feeling and holding on to, listening to that song, because I was wishing things had happened differently, that what had happened hadn’t happened…but the words of wisdom were to “let it be.” We don’t have the power to change such things, and therefore we must accept them. Holding on to the wish that what had happened, hadn’t happened will only ever hold us back and keep us in a state of grief. We must let it be.
Anyway…I don’t actually know that’s what Paul McCartney was writing about when he wrote that song…in fact I recognize it’s likely he was talking about something completely different, but it really resonated with me when Russell passed. That song will forever make me choke up because of that. It’s such a hard thing to accept, it’s such an incredibly SAD realization to come to…and I mean “sad” as in “the feeling of sorrow”…but it is truly wisdom and perspective that we can find on the other side of that sorrow. Tragedy puts us in our place here on this earth, reminds us of the nature of our existence, that everything is temporary and that peace comes from accepting the world for the way it is. And I mean that in the absolute sense. Not in that we must not fight for things like justice and what is right in society…that’s not what I mean. I mean that we don’t have power over life and death, and there are many things about those two things that we simply must accept. And that’s hard to do…
NOT what I was expecting to write this blog entry about, but there it is. Go listen to the song. It’s gutting. One of the best ever written, I’d argue.
I had a day of some work, some errands, and some helping of the Ho with some audition stuff. Enjoying the less-crazy work. I need it.