I’d feared today would be a disaster because I was going to the DMV in the morning, which blows up my routine. It was NOT a disaster! Thank you baby jesus.
Solid work day today. Still not as efficient as I’d have liked…but…acceptable. I feel better. More focused. More energy. I need to carry that into tomorrow.
I’m still reading this book, Peak, and it’s so fascinating and, to be honest…it’s seriously making me consider dropping what I’m doing and just focusing on writing. Maybe even going back to school and getting a graduate degree from the best creative writing program I can get myself into. What the book is doing, really, is opening my mind to the possibilities if I really apply myself to something that I love. Which is storytelling.
There’s just so much fear that comes with that, guys. Most of that fear comes down to money. Will I make a fucking living as a writer? Because I’m making a really good living right now as a video editor and a voice-over artist. Cost-benefit, man. I can’t turn that analysis part of my brain off! It would seem so so foolish to step away from this work situation that I’ve managed to bring together for myself…I work from home, on my schedule, in a huge almost brand new apartment that I don’t pay rent for…
I mean, that ticks every fucking box I dreamed of four years ago. The Ho and I worked our *asses* off to get to this point. I don’t know if I can step away from that…yet.
Because then there’s the other side which is: so, Ira, you’ve checked all those boxes – you have what you wanted…why are you still fighting it? Why do you go through these crises every five months or so where you question your day-to-day schedule and your priorities? Why is it that you can only sustain these productive periods of both writing and work for two months at a time, and then it falls apart for a while?
…but still: if I look at my “situation” logically, I do have to take this one step at a time. Meaning…FINSIH YOUR FUCKING NOVEL IRA AND THEN SEE WHERE YOU’RE AT. Meaning: focus on today.
Today is when the battle is won or lost, not tomorrow.
Ha! That reminds me, actually, of something in the world of sports ball that just happened today. The AL Wildcard game was played today up in Toronto between the Blue Jays and the Orioles. As the Ho would call it: a bird-off (bc both teams have bird names). Well…the game was tied going into extra innings and the Orioles were presumed to have the advantage in that situation because of a superior bullpen.
Namely, their closer Zack Britton had a season of the like which is rarely, rarely seen – he might win the Cy Young award, which is almost never given to a relief pitcher. That’s how fucking good this guy was…and he never pitched in the game. A winner-take-all-game, and their best pitcher never threw a pitch. And they lost the game. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?
Old School wisdom says to not put out your best relief pitcher in the 9th inning or later until you have a lead, especially on the road because if the game continues to remain tied, you may have used your closer and there are several more innings to throw. That might make sense during the regular season because it’s not lose or go home, and you do need to take rest and such into considering during the long course of the season…
…but this is it! There are no more games if you lose this one! USE YOUR BEST PITCHER IN THE MOST IMPORTANT GAME OF YOUR SEASON. It’s really that simple. It gives you the best chance to win! Sure, the offense has to go out and score you runs and your closer’s pitching has zero control over that…but if you give UP a run, the game is over without ever getting that chance. The MOST important thing for a pitching staff in extra innings is to give up no runs. And Zack Britton was the best at that task. You have to use him.
Because, dear readers…the battle is always won or lost today. Never tomorrow.
Good night.