Man, I had another good work day today. This new schedule…it hucking rocks. Big time. It remains to be seen if I can actually get done what I need to get done with it…but early returns are positive.
This is what I’ve been accomplishing before 1pm: my writing for the day (hard to track right now because I’m outlining…and that inability to track is giving me heart palpitations), 2/3 of my narration work, a workout, AND my writing practice for the day. BEFORE 1PM. And I’m only waking up a half hour earlier than usual. It’s…dope. All that’s left after that is to eat lunch, do one more session of narrations, and then read for an hour.
The writing HAS been stressful lately, there’s no if ands or butts about it. I don’t have a specific goal in mind when I sit down. I can’t seem to find any sort of rhythm…except that I struggle for the first hour and then do great for the second hour. But…I’m powering through. My outline is much MUCH better than it was when I started…and I’m right on the edge of being ready to take the plunge officially and just knock this bad boy out.
Part of the anxiety is certainly structural – what I was talking about with not being able to set myself a specific goal each day, measurable progress. That may always be a struggle for me. I don’t know. We’ll have to see where I’m at a year or so from now. I’m definitely going to do some research on outlining techniques, see what might work for me. BUT…a lot of the anxiety is that I feel pressure to write now. More than I did before. I cannot deny that’s a factor, because I know it is. It’s different when you’re doing something on the side because you love it, and when that side gig is now your JOB.
But you know what? This too shall pass. I know it will. I’ve been here before. This *always* happens to me when a routine is changed, or a new job/project is undertaken. It’s the way I roll…and the way I deal with it is to just keep my head down and keep faking it until I make it. Just keep putting my butt down into that chair. I’ve always broken through that way.
So…that’s what I will continue to do. I’m looking forward to the writing part of this process now. It’s my favorite part. It’s the part where I get into a rhythm, and I just let go. Ride the current of the story stream. Looking forward to it…and intimidated…but mostly looking forward to it. I know that I’ll get there if I keep just putting my butt down into that seat.
That’s all he wrote tonight. A’s won. Pups are adorbs. Oh! And I finished “Shift” today, which is Hugh Howey’s second book in the Silo series. I liked it! More than I thought I would. I recommend the whole series. Great fun 🙂