Tonight…I feel grateful.
Not really sure why, what prompted it, but I feel so grateful for my life. Believe it or not, through all the sickness, and the writing crisis, and everything else…January has been a good month. It was the month that I needed.
I wrote today, but only for 10 minutes. That’s what I had in me…but I feel good about tomorrow. I really, actually do. I have a strategy that makes me feel better, makes me feel excited to write, and like the pressure is gone. It’s really simple…I have to sit down and write, but I do not have to write the actual scene. If the scene isn’t coming, I can free-write it in a notes document. I really love this…I used to do it ALL THE TIME when I was writing scripts to get the dialogue sounding right.
Anyway…it’s late. It’s time for bed. Today was another day full of distraction…but my anxiety was fairly low. It was really high last night, for whatever reason…but I woke up feeling good. I don’t know why, but I did. And, I guess for that I feel grateful, too. My “depression” levels are pretty mild, I think. I don’t know why. It’s just the way my brain usually works…I wake up most days feeling good. See, that’s why I know this anxiety is externally triggered…it’s fear-driven and expectation-driven…it gives me hope that some behavior modification can get it sorted out.
There’s hope.
And gratitude.
Good night.