Oof. Today was a bit of a sh*t show.
It was just one of those days, you know, where nothing goes to plan? Everything is stressful. Everything is harder than it needs to be. Le sigh.
It happens! I’m glad it’s over, and at the very least, I was finally able to catch my breath (literally…damn cold is still hanging on) and chill out in the evening. There’s just a lot going on.
I am still sick. No doubt about it. I even had a fever for a brief period of the day, BUT…I am feeling muuuuch better. I’m at about 60%, and I think I could be back to like 90 by this coming Monday. Ie- I’ll have lost about a week. Not too bad. That’s going to happen every now and then. It’s life.
I thought a lot today about really doubling down on getting my writing finished, and making some actual, physical, point-to-able gains. I’m still not quite clicked into the groove, and it feels like it’s right there, ready for me to take it. At least on days like today.
And, it’s true: I can do better. A lot better. I know I can, because other people can. And I can do what they can do. Maybe not exactly the same…but I can.
I’m letting resistance push me away too much. I hit a wall, and I reach for my phone instead of chipping my way through. I don’t do that all the time, but I do it too much. I can do better.
Sigh.
Dreaming big is such a double-edged sword sometimes. On the one hand, I know it’s necessary, absolutely necessary, and is a key ingredient–if not the key ingredient–to success and fulfillment. On the other hand, it can be very, very unfair to place those giant expectations on one’s shoulders. And a weight that someone is not yet able to bear only crushes them, or at best slows them down…
So where’s the happy medium?
I don’t know. Maybe there isn’t one. Maybe both of those contradictory things are simultaneously true about big dreams.
I do know this: I’d rather dream too big than too small.