It’s been a while since I talked about journaling, and why I’ve been doing it daily (and publicly) for almost five years now. But, I have a friend who’s just starting to journal, and it made me think about why I picked this habit up, and why I’ve stuck with it.
Journaling every day has two major draws for me right off the top of my head. The first is that it serves as a way for me to process my day: my emotions, the things I accomplished, what I failed at, and also looking forward to the next day.
The second is that it marks the time. I don’t forget days with a journal. I can always go back and read through them and remember what I was doing during that time. I have (almost) five years of that history now.
And that’s useful to me because it helps me to stay objective about where I’ve come from, and to see my own patterns of behavior. If I’m not self-aware, how can I possibly change? The journaling helps me see all that, to remember, and to analyze myself.
Granted, about 95% of my journaling involves my work and my creativity. Those are clearly the two obsessive subjects of my life…but even that is helpful. I don’t think I was aware going into this journaling of truly how much I think about work. I know now. It helps me to consciously sprinkle in other things in my life.
I started journaling for the first attraction, the daily download of thoughts and feelings. I stuck with it because of the second.
But why do it publicly?
For me, it’s always been true that if I put something out into the open, something that makes me scared or embarrassed…whatever that thing is ceases to have power over me. All of my fears and shame wilt when the light of day is shone upon them…and so I try to write about them here in as frank and honest a way as I can. And that helps me. It helps me to write the words “I failed.” I write that here and I feel like I can let it go. I don’t have to hold onto it any more. It’s no longer inside me. It’s not longer a part of me.
Another writer friend asked me a while back if my blog posts take away from my writing time. The answer is no. This daily exercise is *completely* different from my creative writing. This is all for me. I write it not so much to be read, but simply for the act of writing it. And that helps me get my other writing done.
The hope is that such honesty might be helpful in some way for you, dear reader. I know that most of my posts aren’t all that insightful…but they are real. They are honest. And they are a window into my life. Hopefully some of that is worth reading and reflecting on.
I’m so grateful I have this blog. I’ve changed so much since starting it, and I still have so far to go. I get to document all of that here. With you.
Thanks for reading.