Well…today wasn’t quite the beast-slaying I wanted it to be when I imagined it last night…but it was a success. Several things made themselves very clear today, and let me also say that I wrote 4,000 words. And good words. I wasn’t all that happy with my words yesterday. I was today. I actually found a groove today for a good three hours. What was educational was how I lost it.
This is what I learned today, or at the very least reinforced what I’ve learned before:
-The first hour of work for me is always very, very hard…and it is very, very crucial to my day as a whole. I didn’t manage to sit my butt in my chair on time this morning, and it made me feel like I was working from behind all day. That’s crushing when I’m feeling fragile…which is most of the time 😛 I need to put some energy and create some systems that get me in my chair working when I’ve planned to do so. Adjusting my schedule for a late start doesn’t help.
-Distractions are deadly. If I’ve set up a block of time, I need to keep it. Distractions, both internal and external killed the second half of my day, and all the momentum I had from hours 2-4.
-Eating counts as a deadly distraction. At least using brainpower and TIME to eat.
-The flip of that is also true: hunger is equally deadly. I need to figure out a way to eat during my quick breaks between sprints. Keep my blood sugar up for a four-hour stretch in a healthy way. I also need to make sure that my meals are pre-made and ready for me to chow down.
-Naps are constructive…but with them comes a reset…meaning that first hour back is just as hard again as it was in the morning, and just as crucial to kicking off the second half of my day.
Those were my undoing today. And a little while ago, I was beating myself up for not pushing through in the evening time, knowing that I could have and should have done better, beating myself up for sitting down to dinner and watching Star Trek and then playing some Nintendo instead of going back to my chair, sucking it up, and just getting done what I said I was going to get done…which was 8,000 words.
That is all still true. That’s still a beast I have to slay. BUT…it’s much, muuuuuch easier for me to conquer the above points of destruction than it is to conquer the “suck it up and have no life” demon. My instinct right now is to set my self up for SUCCESS, not to fail repeatedly and suffer the consequences; either not getting my work done, or not having down time. See, I know in the long term that down time is essential to getting the work done. I know that’s true. I’ve been through it before.
And if I look through my past to where I was able to push through on days where things didn’t go my way…it was because they were the exception instead of the rule. More often, I was on time, hitting goals more or less when I set them, and any ground I had to make up was minor in the grand scheme of things. It didn’t feel like that today.
The ability to push aside down time, for me any way, comes from “finishing energy,” and if that finish line is too far away, I struggle to get there. But, if I’m close, if I know I can reach out and cross it if I just work a little longer and a little harder…well, I actually have quite an excellent track record historically for finding that extra energy reserve and determination.
So, that’s a valuable lesson, too. If I can get 2/3 or 3/4 of the way towards a goal in my scheduled time, or close to it, chances are I’ll hit that goal even if it means working later. But, if I’m stuck at halfway, or less than that, I usually fail to rally and succeed.
Through all of that, however, I did still finish 4,000 words and three chapters of material today. That is not nothing. And during hours 2-4, I was truly rolling. I was in the story. It came easily, vividly, and compellingly. I had enormous confidence coming out of that portion of my day. The challenge is to extend that further, if I can. And I can. I know I can.
So…yeah. I was so down on today before sitting down to write this entry. It just seemed like another failure. But, it wasn’t. It was an indication that, yes, I am not quite where I want to be yet…but that I can get there. I am much further along than I gave myself credit…and today, well, I’m just so glad that I did this today because it really, really showed me the things I need to do:
1. Set out a specific schedule with specific hourly goals
2. Put a lot of focus and energy on those two first-hours of the day after breakfast and lunch to make sure I start work on time and hit my first couple half-hour goals
3. I didn’t talk about this yet, but 25 minute sprints definitely slow me down over an hour’s work…but they also feel SO MUCH less intimidating than 50 minute sprints. Try sticking with them
4. Meals need to be more than just pre-planned; they need to be ready to go. Especially lunch.
5. I need to have snacks to go to between each hour of work if I’m doing an 8-hour day so I keep my blood sugar up
6. I need to be somewhere distraction-free to get 8 full hours of work in
I’m starting to fall asleep writing this, so I know it’s time for sleep. I worked from 11am to 8:30pm today with a half hour nap. I wrote 4,000 words; 3 chapters. It wasn’t a failure. I am not a failure. I would have considered it a miracle just a few months ago to have such a productive day.
Lots to do tomorrow. Time for sleeps. Good night.