Today, I completed my first week of full-time work. Like, in an office building, 9 to 5, with some extra hours for writing on the side.
I’ve never done that before.
I’ve obviously worked full time for a very, very long time…in fact, I’ve worked MORE than full time for a very, very long time. I’m doing it right now, actually, with writing and the Netflix work…
…but never actually 9-5, Monday through Friday.
I like it.
I feel like I was insanely productive this week. Maybe not quite so much on the writing that I wanted to, but I have a plan to fix that next week: I just need to set some concrete goals. Concrete goals on what I need to accomplish each day, and I’ll be golden.
I *did* get some really, truly good writing done today, though. I’m at the stage of the process where I’m going through scene by scene and writing down HOW the problems need to be fixed. I’m keeping it pretty simple to start with, too: just address the problem notes that I made, point by point. THEN I can go back and fill in anything else that needs to be addressed.
Baby steps.
That’s the key, man, to finishing any large project: break it up into little tiny steps that you know you can handle. It’s remarkably effective. It negates the overwhelming feeling of “this is too big for me,” and “I’ll be working on this project forever” thoughts.
It was a good week. I enjoy my work. I enjoy my coworkers, and they seem to enjoy me. AND I’m getting writing done.
You know…I was offered this job almost two years ago, and I turned it down. I wanted to focus on writing. What this week shows me is that I *could* have taken that job…but here’s the thing: I could have taken that job and thrived knowing what I know now, which is truly what it takes to finish a manuscript that’s been difficult.
Which is to say, it wasn’t a mistake for me to say no back then to working full time and writing on the “side.” I think it was the right choice, because I don’t know how I would have pushed through the adversity Escape From Red Tower has thrown my way with so few hours. And there always would have been a lingering voice in the back of my head wondering what going full-time on the writing would have been like, wishing I’d gone that way.
I needed to learn what “full-time” actually means for a writer. I didn’t know. Now I do. It’s not a fantasy, dream world where projects just fly from my head onto the paper and I live every moment productive and happy.
It’s hard. Harder than I ever thought it would be.
I needed to learn that, learn the truth, learn what kind of work it really is as opposed to my daydreams about it.
Reality doesn’t suck, y’all. Reality is POWER. It’s where things actually happen. Figuring out the way things actually work is the first giant step towards achieving what we want; perhaps the most crucial step, actually.
I wasn’t ready to write with a full-time job back then, but even more, I wasn’t ready to write full-time.
I’m ready now for both.
Finally.
We’ll see what the future holds.
Good night.