Man, this week really took it out of me.
It was definitely a struggle this week, but I made it. And I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel energized and resolved about this whole finishing-my-book thing. I still have a lot to figure out, and I still am really struggling with actually producing the words…but I still feel energized and resolved.
Next week, my goal will be really simple: buckle down and get shit done. Easier said than done, which I know from experience, but I’m going to use all the tools at my disposal to get it done. Visualizing, affirmations, meditation, and planning ahead by getting a good night’s sleep.
I have to find my flow.
I also have the feeling finally that this is it with this book. This version is going to be its last. And it’s going to work. I know what engaged storytelling feels like when I’m writing, and I know when it’s being phoned in. When something is being phoned in, I have to stop and figure out why, and fix it.
That sounds really simple, even to me. It’s not. Well, it is, but simple doesn’t mean easy.
Work is good. On a new project and working with someone I enjoy working with. The project itself is pretty dry, but I’m totally fine with that. The creative work is draining on the writing. The mindless work still pays the bills, and leaves a little more in the tank.
I can write. I know I can. I read my first book and I can see it. It’s alive. Specific. Engaged. I can find that with this book. I know I can.
We’re up north right now staying in a hotel. Missing the pups. Our friends are getting married tomorrow. It’s wet. Cold, but not too cold. It’s a tropical storm, so the wind smells sweet. Makes me think about home. You could always tell an arctic storm from a tropical one. The tropical storms were always windier, but so much warmer, and the air smelled sweet. The arctic storms blew too, but they were so cold, the chill knifed into you to hard to hear the trees and bushes sway. All you could feel was the cold.
Night.