The pressure of not having figured something out in my story is intense, sometimes.
It’s a great big fear that’s so big, it’s too overwhelming to touch. It feels like hopelessness. So, most of the time, I bury it away or run from it…which serves me, I suppose. Because most often, I figure out whatever it is I need to figure out, and then the fear is conquered and slinks back into the darkness from whence it came.
Writing was rusty today. But I did it. I had a great session with J in the morning, but the story was cold when I sat down to write it in the afternoon and tonight. So…up and down. I spent too much time away.
But, that’s okay. It happens. I’ve gone down this road long enough to know that in a few days of writing, I’ll be more confident. Or…rather, that I guess my writing is up and down all the time. At least on this project.
I had a busy, busy day. I am flipping exhausted. But despite feeling the frustration and deep down panic of still having several things not figured out in this story just before writing this entry, it was a solid day today. A very good day.
It’s been a good week, actually. I’m feeling the rush of finishing things. And I’m keeping my head down and just getting shit done. Still so much to do.
Oh, the other major positive today was that I actually sat down after work and eating some dinner and I started the finances organizing project. It has begun. Yes!
That’s all from me. I’m ’bout to pass out, yo. Night!