It was an odd day today just in the sense that I was kiiinda back to a normal routine. It was exactly what a Saturday from back before the holiday break would have been:
Woke up and ate, watched a little of The Clone Wars on Disney+. That’s a so-so show. I’m juuust getting started, but some of the episodes are quite good. There was one recently where we had to go rescue R2 that actually had me interested. Amazing how that happens when it’s a character you’re attached to.
Then I went to Therapy. Talked a lot about how going through my old papers and works from when I was child made me realize just how much I’ve always sought approval. And that was hard to see. It made me feel shameful…like a fraud. Like I’ve always been chasing something not worthwhile: the admiration of others.
That’s a scary thought.
What if I’m a writer because I want others to love me.
Oof.
I don’t think that’s true. But my self esteem is clearly, CLEARLY tied very deeply to my creative work. And I’m untangling all of that, what it means, and how it affects me as a person.
So, yeah. Therapy was intense. As it always is.
Then, it was an afternoon of watching Football. Crazy games today. And then an evening of helping Liz get some stuff for Madhuri and Joe’s baby shower and organizing stuff in my office.
And now…sleep. I’m exhausted 😂
Night!