Resilience is on my mind tonight.
My story still isn’t quite there. There’s still some relationship to be figured out, yet. Still internal wants and needs to be clarified…I hit up against that wall today when doing my scene analysis.
In recent years and months, that would have sent me into a tailspin. I’d have really struggled to let it go that I didn’t know yet, and to just sit down the next day and tackle it. I’d have had a really hard time seeing the legit progress on the story that I’ve made…
But not today.
Today, I let it go. I stopped thinking about that scene, and set it aside for the next time I sit down at the keyboard, when I’ll tackle it again. I was able to do that because I can see the progress I’ve made on this story. REAL progress. Pages of it.
But, even more than the pages is the progress I see in the consistency of when I sit down to work. It took SO MUCH effort last year and the year before that to sit down write. My god. It was draining. Depressing. And it’s still not exactly easy…except that it is. It’s automatic right now. I’m in a rhythm. And this is after having not written for two weeks because of the holidays. Second week back and I’m a fucking boss. I even look forward to it.
Goddamn it. I look forward to it.
And that has me thinking about resilience.
Don’t give up.
It will get better. Eventually.