I realized in therapy today that I’ve undergone a pretty colossal shift in my writing day in terms of the ratio between good and bad.
It used to be 90/10. 90 percent bad days. 10 percent good. And it was that paltry ten percent and sheer will power that kept me writing at all, which wasn’t much.
I’d say it’s 50/50 right now. Perhaps even slightly better than that. Maybe. I have as many good writing days now as I have bad ones.
That’s a major shift! Like, huge! And I can feel the shift when I’m not writing, too. I’m thinking about my writing less. Which is to say, I’m obsessing about it less. I’m also looking forward to writing, particularly in the mornings. And I’ve written every single day this year so far. I’ve been able to develop that writing habit I’ve tried so hard before and never been able to nail down. It’s automatic now, at the very least, to spend a few minutes thinking about my story before I go to sleep.
So…progress.
I was feeling pretty low about writing at the end of my day today, but I realized in talking it out at therapy tonight (make-up session because we missed Sunday due to the Coco being sick) that I was 1) tired and hungry, and 2) that I’m reaching a crossroads with my story in that I have enough for a full book right now, and maybe, just maybe, rather than doing truly massive cuts to what I have…maybe I’ve got enough for its own book.
I still don’t have an answer for that, but it’s definitely a possibility. Anyway, thinking about that kinda made me spiral for a bit because I find thinking about that stuff to still be overwhelming.
My writing session in the morning, though? Holy crap. Awesome. Wrote for an hour like it was nothing. Almost 1,500 words.
Progress.