Tonight, I find myself about how important it is to remember what “the thing” is.
For me, it’s writing. Books. Books are “the thing.” That’s what I’m reaching for. That’s my pursuit. And, sometimes, that gets lost.
Not exactly that it’s lost right now. Really, it’s watching The Queen’s Gambit that’s making me think about “the thing.” The thing drives everything. Everything comes from it. And everything can be a lot of other, very interesting, very distracting things…but all those other things only exist because of THE thing. And THE thing is the most important.
I do feel self conscious about how far I feel sometimes from my thing. It’s been three years now since I published a book. I don’t like thinking about that, but it’s true. It’s honestly not very productive to think about it, but it is still true.
What I know now is that my route back to the thing lies in letting go, not in holding on tighter. And…that’s hard. For me. I want to hold on so tight. It’s THE THING, after all. It’s the most important. I don’t want to let it go. But the thing isn’t solid. It’s more like a liquid or something squishy, and I know that, because if I squeeze the thing too tight, it squishes right through my fingers.
So…here’s to knowing the thing…and letting go of it a little bit.
Good night.