by Ira | Feb 13, 2023 | Challenge, Journal
Time is a slippery thing. It’s giving me mind whiplash today. A week ago was my last “normal” morning with Coco. She’d had trouble sleeping the night before. I was worried. But, we woke up that morning and she was happy to see me. A stretch in bed, a little of her...
by Ira | Feb 12, 2023 | Challenge, Journal
I think I realized today that I’m afraid of my grief. And it doesn’t take me long to figure out what, exactly, I’m afraid of: I’m afraid that my grief will consume my life. I’m afraid that I’ll get stuck, and everything I’ve worked for will slip away. My brother...
by Ira | Feb 11, 2023 | Challenge, Journal
I might have reached a critical mass today with the tears. I mean…take that with a giant grain of salt, because grief will surprise you, BUT…the tears don’t seem so close tonight. I still feel worn out. I still don’t know what to do with myself. And the panic is still...
by Ira | Feb 10, 2023 | Challenge, Journal
I’ve died twice. I died the day my brother took his own life. And I died two days ago when I let Coco go. What weighs on my chest tonight is that I have to rebuild everything. I am starting over, now. Once again, I must climb the mountain back to joy and inspiration...
by Ira | Feb 9, 2023 | Challenge, Journal
It’s the change in tense that’s the hardest. From is to was. From love to loved. And it’s because for me, the tense hasn’t changed. It will never should, and should never change. Coco is my love. I love her. A really hard day, you guys. One of the hardest of my life....
