Decent day today. Feeling…a little better about this book, now. I’ve lately been searching for some oomf. Something that packs a punch at the end, you know? Something unexpected, dire, big. Haven’t really come across anything that really grabbed me until today. Maybe. I might hate it tomorrow morning, but at least today it was like…okay…that…could work.
Was just me and Coops at home tonight. We were buds. Liz and Joy were with the King kids, the “little ones,” though they’re hardly little any more. Coops and I went on a nice walk, we ate dinner together, and then I played some music. First set I’ve solo DJ’d in months. Since before Coco died.
Man.
I didn’t even realize that till just this second. I haven’t DJ’d a set for myself since she passed. No wonder it’s been so hard to do. Seems like doing everything again for the “first time” is painful each time.
Those of you who haven’t had a dog of your own, and I mean *your* *dog* that you take care of 24/7, who’s attached to you the most, your special, special dog…you may not understand. Maybe you do. But…it’s been devastating. Truly. Coco was…well, quite simply my life revolved around her. She was in my thoughts all day, every day. I made decisions based on her needs. My routines were all fit around hers. And I was her special human. She loved everyone, surely…but I got to spend the most time with her, and she loved that. We had a special bond.
Anyway…a step toward normalcy, I guess. Sigh. Today did feel more normal. I feel slightly more excited about…well, I was going to say this book, but really it’s everything. It’s just everything. All of it. A step close to all of it.
Night night.