What could I try for the first time?
Modeling. No, not the take-pictures-of-me kind; I mean the plastic kits, glue and painting kind.
I have the gear for it. I bought it all four years ago. But I haven’t used it yet. I really want to. Honestly, I’m scared, though. Not of modeling, specifically, but of doing anything for the first time. I just became aware of that, actually. I think I’ve always been scared of doing things for the first time; it’s only now that I recognize it. Fear of failure, I think, which is to say that I know I’m not going to be very good at something the first time I do it, and that uncomfortable feeling is something that I try to avoid way too much.
I love miniatures. I always have. Miniature trains, models of buildings, ships, space ships…I think it would be so cool to be able to just build those things myself.
I remember in grade school, early grade school, I found a book in the library that was about how to build stuff for model trains. Like, the scenery, and how to lay your tracks properly and cover them with realistic-looking gravel. That book might as well have been written in greek as far as my ability to actually understand or implement it—I was…7 at the time? 8?—but it absolutely fascinated me, nonetheless. I wish I’d kept it. That would be stealing I suppose, but whatever. I remember it being in my life vividly.
So…maybe this year will finally be the year I suck up my fear of failure and just DO it. Also scary is the time commitment. I have to be so careful with that. Very easily, I will put more on my plate than I can handle. But it’s a hobby I know I could fall in love with.
——
My day today was better. Much better. I got stuff done. A huge weight off my shoulders is that the next Glory book is put together in its final form. Got some great feedback from our beta readers, implemented it all as best I could, and have now assembled everything in our fancy formatting software that will make everything look perfect and pretty when it publishes. Only missing one element: the full-resolution cover. Didn’t realize I didn’t already have it. Ooops. But Craig should be able to get that to me tomorrow, so we’ll be up well in time. We publish in slightly over two weeks.
Took a brief nap. Read a little. Watched a little Red Zone. Watched a little Warriors pre-season (we’re undefeated!). Ate some snacks. Walked the pups. And got to hang out just a little bit with Stephen and Thida as they dropped off Tommen to stay with us for a couple nights while they take a quick trip to Disneyland. It’s always so nice to have him. He’s such a sweetie. Nice walk all together tonight in the cool air. If I’d got my shit done earlier in the day, I could have taken a bike ride, but no dice. Oh well. Maybe tomorrow.
Night night.