When I think of the word successful, who comes to mind and why?
Huh. An interesting question. Who do I think is ‘successful?’ I hate it, but I guess the first person, or group of people I think of are authors who’ve sold more books than I have. I don’t hate so much because it’s a bad thing to sell a lot of books—that’s obviously something I’m working really hard towards right now…but I hate it because it makes me feel less-than. I also think of authors who’ve written better books than I have, who know more about writing, who’ve read more, or experienced more than I have. And again, it makes me feel less-than.
It is also inspirational, though, thinking about people that I deem to be more successful or better than I am at something. It does give me something to reach for. I use it. In that way, it’s a blade that cuts both ways—it pushes me forward and it holds me back.
I also think of ‘successful’ as being happy, not just numbers. A successful person to me is a good person, a healthy person. And I really do mean that. That’s not just a platitude for the blog; I really, really value happy healthy people in my life, and in those I look up to. People with stability, because they’re happy and healthy; people I can count on.
In all of those ways, in my most-conscious states, I see myself as successful. Most of the ways in which I feel less-than are unconscious ways, insidious ways that I have to keep my head on a swivel to keep track of. But consciously, in the thoughts that I’m most aware of, I really think of myself as very successful. I’m proud of who I am and what I’m doing. And I feel so freaking grateful for that.
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I did my evening writing session today! It wasn’t perfect, nor was the morning session…but I did it. Oh, it felt so good to do that. And I genuinely got good work done because of it. Still need to work on not being distracted so much, for sure, but I got down some genuinely good ideas. I’m starting to get really excited about writing this second book whereas before I was much more daunted than excited. I’m going to do some fun stuff in this next one. Which I have to do in ALL of the books I write, otherwise I literally won’t write them. I do have to go digging each time, however, to find that fun stuff, to find the adventure. It’s work.
It was grey and cool all day. LOVED IT. Again, not so much that it was cloudy all day, but I do like misty mornings and evenings, and I love that it was cool enough all day to keep my sliding door left open the entire time. It’s even cool enough that the mosquitos go away.
Kitties are all great. Nice pats all around for them. Nugget has taken to enjoying me giving her pets before putting the food bowls down much more than she used to. She actually presses up against me now like Snacks does. Chloe’s not there yet, but she’s getting there. Much less scared of me, too, when coming over for the food. She’s super soft, Chloe is. And so big. So much bigger than her mom. I think it’s because Nugget had babies when she was so young. Those two are so bonded to each other, I love them so much. And Chloe is so strong. She’s so much braver and more assertive than her mom. Chloe and Snacks rule the backyard.
Pups are great. They got tested for heart worms today because we’re putting them on a new regular medication. No results yet, but I’m sure they’ll be negative. Apparently they both did great. Proud of them. Thanks, Bear, for taking them.
That’s all the news that’s fit to report for now. Night night!