What kind of first impression do I want to give people?
Smart, probably, which is somehow so shameful to admit. Well, not somehow: I think it’s because it’s the real answer. I desperately want people to think that I’m smart. Not making that impression is terrifying, which makes it hard to admit. That’s a soft spot there.
See, when I was a kid, the most positive attention I got was when I was smart. So I stuck with that. I made it my identity. This is something I’ve talked about with my therapist, lol.
I mean…there are other impressions that I want to make: I want people to think that I care about them, listen to them, that I’m kind. I want people to think I’m funny. Charming. A good hang. I think I do make those impressions most of the time. I hope so, anyway. That’s the kind of person I actually want to be, you know? Not just what people think of me. I want them to think it of me because it’s true.
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I watched The Batman tonight, the one they made a couple years ago with Robert Pattinson. It was…fine? Like, I really enjoyed the detective aspect of it. Following clues. Solving puzzles. I thought the city corruption theme was…meh. Never really bonded with any of the characters. And the big reveal was…meh. Mostly though, it’s a decent film—certainly the best Batman movie that’s been made since The Dark Knight, which is now way too old—but it never rose above the biggest question that I had for it as soon as it was announced: why is this movie being made? We have SO MANY Batman movies. I feel like nobody asked for that movie. Mostly, I kept imagining it as actually being animated, and that made it pretty fun.
Don’t get me wrong: it’s pretty good. But it’s not great, and that’s what I think it probably would have taken for me to feel like it was a necessary movie. But, hey: now I can give The Penguin a try, and I hear it’s really good. Oh, and Robert Pattinson was fine as the Batman. I did feel like he wasn’t quite large enough to be physically intimidating on that gut-level, but you know what? Neither was Michael Keaton, so it’s fine.
It was actually a busy day. We got the pups photos done for the holidays. That ended up taking the whole morning and most of the afternoon by the time it was all said and done. Took a massive nap, and then Liz went off to baby sit for Joe and Madhuri who went out to dinner for her birthday, and are in town at an air bnb for a party for Aavya tomorrow.
Busy weekend. Sigh. I’m pretty tired. But, I will survive.
Night night.