What cities do I want to visit?
I’ve never been to so many. Sooooo many. I want to visit Tokyo. London. I’d love to visit Dublin. In the US, I’ve never been to New Orleans, which would be fun. And DC. I’ve done pretty well with the US cities, actually. I’ve been to…most of them? I’ve never actually hung out in Denver, I suppose that one would be cool, or St. Louis…but I’ve done most big cities on the coasts.
But abroad, so many. All the cities! Amsterdam! Prague! The riviera! Florence! Bombay! Stockholm! Let’s goooooo.
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I was, like, vulnerable today. All day for some reason. I think it’s probably the exhaustion from this crazy week of work. I figured it out for my time card just now: I worked 32 hours in two days, lol. Oof. But, yeah…it started with re-watching an episode of Welcome to Wrexham, a really good one, about autism. I’m not autistic, but I could have been. It was a near miss, I think. The couple people they profile I have a lot in common with, and I just found myself empathizing.
Then I went and got myself some burritos for lunch over at our old Ralph’s, and I find myself feeling all the ghosts and echoes of that place very acutely. By that I mean…that was a time in our lives that is now over, and it’s not exactly that I miss it…I do miss it, but not in the sense that I want to go back to it, you know? I’m just…it’s gone, now. Coco especially. I can’t go back, and even though I don’t want to, it’s sad that I can’t. I’m not as young as I was back then, I’m not as bright-eyed about the future, which is a weird one to feel because I am objectively in a much better, much more successful place than where I was back then with my creativity, but there is an innocence that’s been lost by figuring out all the things I’ve figured out, you know? When nothing has happened yet, anything can happen.
It was driving by the houses on our old morning walk route, seeing all the places Cooper and Coco and I used to walk by, listening to podcasts and trying to figure out my life. It’s gone, now. Many of the houses have even changed…it was the weight of time gone by. That’s what it was, very simply. Time has passed. Like, really, irrevocably passed, and everything is different now. Even the neighborhood has changed bit. Not a ton, but enough. It’s just…there’s a weight to that, you know? And I felt it today.
Night night.