On the mend! For real this time. Actually feeling better.
I have two obsessions at the moment:
The first is the song God Yu Tekem Laef Blong Mi, the Hans Zimmer version from The Thin Red Line. It’s a pidgin english gospel hymn from the Melanesian Solomon islands, and man. Really got me today. I’ve probably listened to the song a hundred times. It’s that perfect mix for me of beautiful and sad, the type of song we sing when our hearts are breaking. We don’t sing sad songs in times like that, we sing happy songs, songs of hope and resilience…but it’s always there behind the lyrics, its in the chords and the movements of the music, the sadness and the breaking. Beautiful songs sung with tears in our eyes and sniffles in the quiet moments. Got me today.
The other thing that really got me today was a Nature documentary I watched on the wolves of Yellowstone. Intense stuff. It’s savage out there in the wilderness. Death is around every corner. Nobody lives to be too old out there in the wild. As soon as you slow down, it’s over. But, oh, how strong and beautiful life is while it lasts. It was a stunning episode. I’ll never forget some of its images. The cycle of life turns over and over and over. Kings and Queens rise and fall. Packs come and go. But as long as we, the humans, don’t fuck it all up, it goes on forever. There is balance. And meaning because of it. Every death allows room for new life. The sun rises again, like at the end of Swan Lake.
I guess it was an intense day. Not quite sure why, but it was. I’m grateful for it.
Night night.