Do I remember life before the internet?
I do! Barely…
Essentially, as soon as I was old enough to use the internet, the internet was around. It happened in grade school. I remember an ISP called ‘Prodigy.’ There was a puzzle game you could play, a way to chat with others (though I never did that), and something to do with the San Diego Zoo. And I remember going online for the first time and basically seeming like magic, this idea that the computer was connected to someone on the other side of the planet. Somehow that was much harder to wrap my head around than a phone call.
By the time I was a pre-teen/teen, people had internet in their homes. We didn’t at first, but I had friends who did. It was new and exciting. Message boards. Lots of Star Trek content, which suited me just fine because I loved Star Trek.
But before that…I do remember a time when nobody had a computer in their homes. Believe it or not, it didn’t feel that different. There was TV instead. And video games. We gathered around those. I’m not a kid now so I can’t really make a full comparison, so I suppose we probably did play outside quite a bit more…but we were still all obsessed with our gadgets. Those gadgets—and their connectivity—have just changed.
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Boy oh boy, I did not want to get my pages done today…but I did. Fighting fatigue a bit. Malaise. But I know it will pass. It’s just being out of my routine. Once I’ve been back in for a while, and it feels like progress is properly being made, that I’m back on track, the feeling will subside. It’s a fight getting there, though. Every time.
Sigh.
Tired. Zonked, more like it. Just kind of floating. But…I got my pages done today done. Got my Netflix work done. Even did my Shakespeare reading.
I found the original reading list from Dan Simmons I got the idea from to read all the plays. It’s a long one. It’ll take me ten years to read that list. I wish I’d started it earlier. Like…twenty years ago. Sigh. But, here I am now.
I didn’t know I wanted to be a writer until relatively recently, if I think about it. Less than ten years ago. And I’m about to finish my sixth novel. Not bad. I’ve been putting good work in. Really good work.
It is hard to shake that feeling though, sometimes. ‘It’s taking too long.’ ‘I’m too late.’ ‘There won’t be enough time.’
It’s just resistance though. Even if it is hard to shake.
Night night.