We have a blanket pile on our bed right now. It’s. The. Best. It’s cold out! Only for a couple days, I think, then several days of decently warm, and then back to cold-ish again.
It’s not thaaaaat cold. Right now it’s only 57 out. But that is WAY cooler than it was just a week ago. Leftover cool air from the storm that blew through. It feels like fall/winter, just like that. Early. Usually doesn’t turn like this until the end of the month. Right now it’s usually disgustingly warm. Glad it isn’t that.
Today’s fine distinction is “Shame” versus “Guilt.” I like this one!
“Shame” is the feeling that innate qualities about one’s self do not live up to the standards of society/peers/etc.
“Guilt” is the feeling that one’s actions (or thoughts) do not live up to the standards of society/peers/etc.
So…shame is about who we are as a person, whereas guilt is the same feeling, but about things we’ve done, said, thought, etc. Shame is about things we cannot control. Guilt is about things we can.
I feel shame about my small muscles—I feel guilt about not going to the gym.
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Feeling guilt, then, today about not getting any writing done. Cooper had to go potty last night several times in the middle of the night. 2am, 4am, 5am and 6am, basically. I handled the second two times, Liz the first two. So…I slept in to make up for it. Intending, of course, to find time later in the morning to sit down and write. But I didn’t. And then I took a nap instead of writing in the evening. Sigh.
I feel shame for my inability to be more consistent.
Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m pretty consistent, all things considered. But days like today show me that I could be more, you know? I am capable of more. So when I fall short of my goals, I…I guess I just don’t like it.
I’m flushing that though, right now. Tomorrow is a new day.
Night night.