We will get back to the normal routine of fine distinctions and whatnot. I haven’t abandoned that project in the slightest. Just delayed on account of…well, a lot going on.
We saw the King kids today. They all seemed very, very happy to see us, which warmed my heart so much, I can’t tell you. Same with the fact that they seemed okay. Like, going through it, obviously…but not shambles. Keeping their heads above water. Functional. And very happy to see us. I think the biggest thing I want them to feel from Liz and I is simply that they’re not alone. They never will be. This loss does not mean they’re on their own. They will always have us to support them, pay attention to them, build them up if they’re feeling low. We all only ever survive something like this, but we will survive it together. I think I saw an inkling of that today just in how good it felt to be together again.
I haven’t lost my mother. I will, someday…but I’ll be so much older when it happens to me, which is the natural way of things. I can’t imagine the loss they’re trying to deal with at this age. I lost my brother, but even then, it’s not the same. I think I’ve been afraid of this time because of that, because I can’t know what they’re feeling. It’s such a uniquely intense loss. But now that I’m here, I’ve been surprised by the clarity of knowing that all I need to do is just BE there, be supportive, listen, encourage…and that’s an immense comfort. I was worried I wouldn’t know what to do or say. But I do know. It’s very clear, in fact. And that’s a relief.
It’s very, very good to be home. It felt very, very good to see the kids. Very, very good to pick up the pups—Tommen is with us for a couple weeks, in fact, which is delightful. Very, very good to be in my bed tonight, going to sleep on time.
Speaking of, it’s time. The above is all we did today, pick up the pups and visit with the Kings. Tomorrow is a work holiday, which I didn’t even realize. What a relief. I’ll get up on time, but otherwise chill at home. Laundry. That’s the name of the game.
night night