Twas a minor miracle today: I got all my work done even though I was a hairbreadth away from doing zero. This close to sleeping all the way in, because I was that tired. But I got up. Made myself sit down with the promise that if I really was that sleepy after doing the meditation at the start of my two hours of work, that I could lie down right in my office and sleep some more. I half knew I wouldn’t need to, that I had it in me to write after that. It worked. I got my pages done. Even started work on the outlining, goddamn finally. Two months overdue, which will come to bite me in the ass very soon…but I will cross that bridge when I come to it. I’ll figure something out. Something.
I was exhausted throughout the day, though, which I’m sure is tiresome to read about. Sorry. It is the truth, though. Last week—plus the time change—really wiped me out. But I’m recovering. I’m getting there.
Rewatched Primer today. Hadn’t seen it since…2005? Twenty-one years? I can still remember sitting in my Nutwood West apartment living room on either the futon or the bean bag with our three months free of all the cable channels and watching that movie on the Sundance channel. It had just won awards at that years’ festival, and I knew I’d love it just from the previews. And I did. And…it’s pretty remarkable, but my reaction to it today was exactly what I remember back then—that in order to make sense of the last third or so of the movie, I’d have to watch it very slowly and diagram it all out in order to fully understand. I didn’t do that today, I just read someone else’s. But it’s a fun film in that way, a puzzle that can be (mostly) figured out if you take it piece by piece and sort out the various flashbacks and reveals. It’s not perfect, not so much in terms of the time travel logic, but in terms of some of the dramatic pieces. Like…why do we suddenly care about this guy showing up at a party? And why does Aaron get so violent with himself? But it’s really fun to figure out all the pieces.
That’s it for tonight. I want to read about wine for a bit and then fall asleep. G’night.