I feel like I have so much to do, man. And I do. It’s not just a feeling. I handled my stuff today, though, at least. I got done everything I needed to get done. Part of it is that I need to be getting my Netflix work done during the actual workweek. I need to stop...

Feeling very grateful for our friends tonight. The Clements dropped by some goodies and hung out for a few minutes. And we spent the afternoon having a late lunch/early dinner with Liz and Ali. Our dining room table is covered right now with flowers and cards and...

Tis late. Podcasted with Josh. We didn’t actually get to watch the film we were supposed to because it’s not actually available to rent or buy anywhere digitally. How crazy is that?! So…we recorded the rest of our stuff anyway and hung out. Watched an episode of Deep...

A so-so day. I didn’t have a full-on panic/grief-attack today. It did come, but it was more subdued. And I got incredibly tired in the afternoon and had to take a nap. We had a little bit of a rough night. Didn’t get great sleep. Woke up several times because of some...

Had a solid day today. The most solid day I’ve had…well, I guess not that long, but it FEELS like so much longer. No writing this morning. Sigh. But, Netflix work was great. Helped Liz with a really good audition. We had lunch together almost like normal. It’s…getting...

We spent Valentine’s day with the Kings, sharing some joy. It was perfect. Otherwise…I worked. Had a panic/sadness attack come around 3pm, but it subsided. My thought of the day on grief is that it’s uncontrollable. It just comes. My brain has absolutely no control...

Time is a slippery thing. It’s giving me mind whiplash today. A week ago was my last “normal” morning with Coco. She’d had trouble sleeping the night before. I was worried. But, we woke up that morning and she was happy to see me. A stretch in bed, a little of her...

I think I realized today that I’m afraid of my grief. And it doesn’t take me long to figure out what, exactly, I’m afraid of: I’m afraid that my grief will consume my life. I’m afraid that I’ll get stuck, and everything I’ve worked for will slip away. My brother...

I might have reached a critical mass today with the tears. I mean…take that with a giant grain of salt, because grief will surprise you, BUT…the tears don’t seem so close tonight. I still feel worn out. I still don’t know what to do with myself. And the panic is still...

I’ve died twice. I died the day my brother took his own life. And I died two days ago when I let Coco go. What weighs on my chest tonight is that I have to rebuild everything. I am starting over, now. Once again, I must climb the mountain back to joy and inspiration...