by Ira | Feb 15, 2023 | Challenge, Journal
Had a solid day today. The most solid day I’ve had…well, I guess not that long, but it FEELS like so much longer. No writing this morning. Sigh. But, Netflix work was great. Helped Liz with a really good audition. We had lunch together almost like normal. It’s…getting...
by Ira | Feb 14, 2023 | Challenge, Journal
We spent Valentine’s day with the Kings, sharing some joy. It was perfect. Otherwise…I worked. Had a panic/sadness attack come around 3pm, but it subsided. My thought of the day on grief is that it’s uncontrollable. It just comes. My brain has absolutely no control...
by Ira | Feb 13, 2023 | Challenge, Journal
Time is a slippery thing. It’s giving me mind whiplash today. A week ago was my last “normal” morning with Coco. She’d had trouble sleeping the night before. I was worried. But, we woke up that morning and she was happy to see me. A stretch in bed, a little of her...
by Ira | Feb 12, 2023 | Challenge, Journal
I think I realized today that I’m afraid of my grief. And it doesn’t take me long to figure out what, exactly, I’m afraid of: I’m afraid that my grief will consume my life. I’m afraid that I’ll get stuck, and everything I’ve worked for will slip away. My brother...
by Ira | Feb 11, 2023 | Challenge, Journal
I might have reached a critical mass today with the tears. I mean…take that with a giant grain of salt, because grief will surprise you, BUT…the tears don’t seem so close tonight. I still feel worn out. I still don’t know what to do with myself. And the panic is still...
by Ira | Feb 10, 2023 | Challenge, Journal
I’ve died twice. I died the day my brother took his own life. And I died two days ago when I let Coco go. What weighs on my chest tonight is that I have to rebuild everything. I am starting over, now. Once again, I must climb the mountain back to joy and inspiration...
