I turned in my short story today. I have lost any sort of sense on whether or not it’s any good…which is an odd feeling. I’m not sure if it’s just this one story that’s got me feeling all out of whack and uncertain, or if this is a preview of things to come 😛 I hope it’s the former.
I will say this: I am happy with it. It’s done. There’s a polish to it that I am absolutely satisfied with. But, at the end of the day, I think if I had another two months to put something together, I’d probably give another story idea a try, just to see if there was something else out there that was going to capture my imagination.
I liken it to when I was a progressive house DJ. Sometimes there were just these sets that I was totally excited about starting out, but they quickly became somewhat troublesome to put together. The pieces just aren’t fitting together that way I thought they would, and ultimately the set just isn’t what I thought it was going to be. I used to call them “problem” sets. I was still happy with them, I put my name on them and broadcast them on my show, but they just were NOT the types of sets where I’d sit down to put them together, and they just fell perfectly into place like those tracks had always meant to be put together. Those sets were magic. Goosebump sets. I still listen to some of them, every now and again. They came together so effortlessly, I felt kind of weird putting my name on them. They felt like no work at all.
Well…this short story definitely was a “problem” story. It just didn’t fall perfectly into place like I’d planned. BUT, I’m still *genuinely* proud of it. There are several moments I am extremely happy with and hopefully will prove to be effective.
Starstuff felt much more like one of those magical sets. Thank god. I mean, it’s 90,000 words. I’d hope it would come together the way I wanted it to 😛
So, yeah…I sent it off to the Strange New Worlds Contest, like so many others did today, I’m sure, and we’ll see what happens. I’d love to be included, I won’t be surprised either way if I do or I don’t. That’s what I mean by I feel like I’ve lost a sense on whether it’s any good or not…I wouldn’t be surprised if people love it, and I wouldn’t be surprised if people hate it. I really don’t know any more, I just know that it’s done and I’m willing to put my name on it. Like I said, it’s an odd feeling.
I also got the majority of the work done today I wanted to. Needed to, after a crazy day like yesterday with the Coco. She is feeling much better today, by the way. She was able to walk on her foot today and we didn’t have to give her pain killers. Very encouraging. Poor baby girl.
But, I got my work done even though I feel totally discombobulated and out of sorts. I need to take a shower, I need to clean our apartment, I need to clean my office, I want fresh sheets on the bed, clean clothes, and I want to nail down my plan for the next several months. Set goals. Do my retrospective on 2015 and leave that shit behind. Start looking ahead to this year and the next.
BUT…you guys, this is one major hurdle crossed. I’ve officially, FINALLY, submitted my work to a professional organization that would pay me to publish it. Finally. It’s been two full years in the making, but here I am. I’ve put my work out there for the first time. It’s no small step, at least for me.
That’s the thought I’m going to end on. That’s the truth that I’m missing in all of this feeling-out-of-it and angsty-ness. I jumped over a hurdle today. A big one. It’s the first of many to come, hopefully a bunch of them this year.
Good night out there. I hope you’re putting yourself out there and pushing the boundaries of your own comfort zones. It’s not an easy thing to do, I’m feeling that right now…but it’s the right thing to do. It’s how I’m going to grow.
Catch you on the flip.