Good evening dear readers! Or morning, as the case may be…I suppose it depends on when you usually read this. *I* usually read these entries like a freaking year later, so…hello future Ira. What’s up? How’s the writing going? Still stressing about work and whatnot? We both know what the answer to that question is; I didn’t even need to ask it. Are the A’s a better team in the future?
I got to watch most of the A’s game tonight, which was divine. I haven’t done that in…probably a month? It’s gotta be longer than that, actually. I can’t even remember the last time I did that. We’re actually playing well right now…well, except for tonight, where we lost on a walk off in the bottom of the 9th against the Rangers. But our young offense is clicking, our young starters are getting better little by little…there is reason for optimism.
I worked today. All day. But I did finish a bit early. Wrapped up one project and am moving immediately onto the next one. Such is the life of a contractor.
It’s weird for me to think of myself like that; I am a freelance video editor and voice-over artist. Who’d have thought THAT would happen? And that I’d make a decent living doing it? But, here I am…going on…four years? Yeah, four years in the business. Granted, I’ve had all of TWO clients in all that time, so I’m practically an employee of each…but still. I am technically a contractor, and that means “freelance.”
It took a long, long time to be in the position I’m in right now…which is why I find it so hard to focus on my creative endeavors sometimes (like right now). I worked really, really hard to get where I am, and all that hard work and patience is starting to pay off monetarily; how can I not take advantage of that?
I was talking to my mom about it, specifically about the voice-over work I do which is 100% above and beyond my already full-time work I do video editing…I see the work queue sitting there, as it has been recently, and there are all these lessons waiting for narration, and I know I can do them if I just find the time, and it’s literally just money sitting there waiting for me to grab it. I know exactly how much I’ll make for every one of those lessons if I do the narration. It’s much harder to see that with my writing; my writing hasn’t paid me. Ever. I know those narrations will, and exactly how much.
THAT is why I find myself struggling to commit to writing, as I am right now. I recognize, however, that I *must* commit to my writing. I learned that last year, a year in which I squandered my creative time and I felt really, really down on myself about it. I wasn’t happy. I’m happiest when I’m writing, it’s really that simple. And HAPPINESS is a really, really important ideal to strive for.
It’s just hard sometimes.
So…I suppose this is all a long way to say…after two weeks on the dot of missing my routine of writing in the mornings, I’ll be back on that horse tomorrow morning. That’s a promise to you, dear patient reader, and a promise to myself. I HAVE to get this novel rewrite finished! Have to. I’m *dying* to move on to the next novel. Dying. I should be there already. But I’m not. I have to accept that and just keep my nose to the grindstone and keep grinding away. It *is* worth it to give a project the full time it needs to get done.
That immediate paycheck is so, so tempting, however. It’s not that I can stop pursuing that work…it’s paying the bills, after all…no, it’s more about balance. Right now, the scale has tipped all the way over onto the Ira-as-a-contractor side, and I need to nudge it back to Ira-does-writing-and-his-paid-work state. My happy state.
I wish there were more hours in the day…
Artwork tonight is from Chris Foss…and Foss like I’ve never seen before. I wonder what this is from? Anyone?