The “funk” continues. As much as it pains me to say that, it does.
Do you ever just get stressed out for what seems like no reason, and it just kinda floats there on your shoulders or on top of your head? It’s not necessarily life or death-type anxiety, but it’s still enough to make everything just seem like too much to handle; it’s not worth it; stay right where you are and do nothing for a couple hours.
I hate it. I definitely have it. I want to get rid of it.
So, that’s the goal for tomorrow. Just have a solid, normal day. Focus on the present instead of focusing on the future or the past. Mostly it’s the future that’s overwhelming me, and because of that I’m out of balance. I’ve tipped the scales too far in that direction, and I can’t find my center. I have to haul that shit back by just focusing on the present moment.
I will sit down and write for an hour tomorrow. First thing. I will get through a few assignments for the Flix before lunch, and then I will pick up where I left off after lunch.
I can work through the weekend to catch up on what I *should* have got done this work week…I will not fail my job. I will finish. On time. I will finish my book. I know these things…it just sucks right now.
I do this over and over again. I shoot myself in the foot. I never finish early. I always set myself up to make a big push to “catch up.” It’s exhausting. I don’t like it.
Cutting this entry short tonight because I don’t know what else to write. You’ve all heard it all before. It’s tired now. I’m tired now. My goal is to have something nicer and more interesting to say tomorrow.
Good night.