I did a lot of thinking today about 2018. And talking. And writing.
2018 was…an intense year. I really struggled in 2018…but damn if as I’m reading through my daily posts, I don’t see just how hard I worked. I see a lot of failure and frustration, but I also see a lot of determination, and a willingness to figure shit out.
I haven’t reaped the benefits of the lessons I learned in 2018, and I know there are more lessons to come because I am not yet to the top of the mountain where I can truly see clearly…
…but I can at least see what I’ve climbed thus far. And I *have* climbed. Thank god. Because before reading through those daily posts, it was so easy for me to only see the slips and the falls, to simply look at the fact that I wanted to finish a book, and I haven’t.
But, finishing my book wasn’t the story of 2018.
Finding my process was.
But, more of that when I actually finish my retrospective. I worked on it for a couple hours tonight. I wanted to finish it tonight (well, yesterday, actually, but shortly after sitting down to write it, I knew it was going to take some real time to get through). I’m going to finish it tomorrow, I think.
Something I realize that I learned in 2018: the key for me is not setting hard deadlines. It’s just doing to the work, putting in the time. I put in the time yesterday and I put it in today. That’s all I need. Everything else will come if I just put in the time.
Just keep writing.
Trust the process.
I also golfed today with Josh, and then we sat and talked as we drank Iced T and coffee (it was so fuuuuucking cold today!). We played probably the best round we’ve ever played. On the last hole, for example, Josh almost got a hole-in-one, and I ended up draining a putt from about 15-20 feet out. We took it as a good aw-man. Or omen. Whichever way you speak English.
The day started with me doing a bunch of financial and housekeeping-type stuff.
It was just a really solid day, you guys. I’m really, really grateful for this blog. I feel like I have a record of my life rather than just my own emotional, filtered, and usually pessimistic memory. I don’t know why I do that with my memory, particularly work-wise, but I know that I do it. I know because of this blog, and I’m so grateful for that. It gives me the full picture. Still filtered through my recollection of each day 😜 But, better than nothing, eh?
I…feel…well, I’m not going to finish that thought about 2019 yet. I’m going to finish my retrospective, and then turn my gaze forward and set some intentions/goals for this coming yet.
I want to learn from my past. I didn’t do that last year. I’m doing it this year.
Cheers. Hope your day was a good one. Happy New Year! 🎆🎊