I was stressing tonight about these upcoming scenes I was going to be writing for my book. They were foggy. They felt like “shoe leather,” as Shawn Coyne would put it: scenes that don’t actually do anything to further the story. Not the plot, but the story. The essential plot. The stuff you must have. Everything else is just walking from point A to point B. Shoe leather.
But then I remembered that I didn’t have to write new words. I could take a moment to just write out what might be exciting about the next couple scenes. I could take as long as I wanted, in fact. I wasn’t on a deadline. I wasn’t even making wordcount goals. I could do whatever I wanted with that time.
I cannot tell you how much of a difference that is making in my creative time, the letting go. I can feel the tension release inside of me, and the creative part of my brain peek it’s big, blinking eyes out of the darkness. It was hiding away before, under the stress of deadlines and wordcounts and comparisonitis and just plain old anxiety in general. I’d driven it away.
Letting go has made it come out to play more often. And that’s what it just felt like, doing my little 10 minutes of writing before bed: play. That’s what it felt like back when I wrote Starstuff. It’s the key to sustainability and success for me. Play.
Went back to work today. Crazy busy.
Got Schnoops fixed. He was building up water in the AC, which was dripping on my floor mats, which made them musty. Fixed. Thanks Craig at ISE Auto.
Came home, walked pups. Watched the A’s get absolutely demolished by the Astros 15-0. Then watched some Raiders football. They won 🙄 The signed up for 2 free months on Libsyn, which is where we’re going to move the Film School podcast for 2019. I’m paying for two extra months, but whatever. I decided I wanted to make the move, so why wait any longer?
Now…sleep. The melatonin is hitting me hawrd right now.
😴😴😴