I need to have more faith in myself sometimes.
Writing today was a little rough. I have a couple scenes that I think are shoe leather. That, plus me not having written much over the past two weeks, and I was down on myself. Frustrated.
I needn’t be.
It’s simply a sign that I need to find the joy of the scenes that I’m writing. And I need to have more faith in my ability to take a scene that’s feeling like shoe leather, and inject into it the conflict it needs…or my dedication to cut it.
I know that I’m missing my weekly sessions with J. Big time. It’s been underscored for me these past couple weeks just how much of a positive impact meeting with him to break this stuff down has had on my work. How much I need those meetings.
On the one hand, it makes me wish I was more self sufficient right now. I’ve been self-sufficient in the past, so there’s some embarrassment that comes with that.
On the other hand, I might just be writing a better book right now than I wrote on my own, and maybe, just maybe, using help is my new norm. Maybe I’ll be a better, happier, more stable and productive writer if I can figure out a way to be in this feedback look with a fellow writer on the regular. And that’s actually exciting.
Anyway…I was tired today. And not happy with where I was writing-wise…but I’m so freaking glad that I did all three of my sessions today. SO freaking glad. Because I’m actually getting to bed right now feeling positive and empowered. I just wrote some good words. And it reminds me that while the most important thing is to be able to drop in and just let go…to use my writing sessions however I need to use them, whether they produce words, or if they’re just figuring out what words I should eventually write…the SECOND most important thing is to just show up.
Just.
Show.
Up.
…and have a little faith.
I did that today, and I’m so glad I did.
Night!