Progress is being made on the personal front.
I had therapy today, and among other things—many, many other things, including how I feel betrayed by my country right now—we talked about the progress I’ve made.
I’m happier. I’m healthier. I’m more productive. And…though it’s still scary, I’m dreaming big again.
That’s complicated for me still, dreaming big. The act itself is wonderful-feeling and inspiring, but it doesn’t always make me feel good afterwards. Sometimes, it highlights for me how lost I feel, how far away I am from those big dreams. But, lately, it’s been more empowering, which I take as a sign that I’m doing better.
I’m consistent with my writing, and even more importantly, I’m HAPPY with my writing.
I’m definitely nervous about diving into this next step with my fledgling manuscript; doing a first-pass rewrite on it. But, through all of the work I’ve done on myself over the past year+, I know that kind of nervousness comes from projecting into the future and seeing failure. By simply focusing on the present, I can hold such anxiety and fear at bay to a large degree, and do good work in the here and now.
So, that’s what I’m going to do tomorrow morning, and then again tomorrow afternoon: just focus on the work in front of me.
It’s working.