I recalled an interaction with an old friend today, listening to Dancing On My Own, which is a song that missed me when I first came out. I only really discovered it a few years ago, and by that I mean that I discovered that it was one of my favorite songs.
The interaction was with Melissa. I knew her in high school. Friend is actually, probably, too strong a term. We were friendly. We knew each other. We didn’t exactly run in the same circles, but those circles overlapped enough that we were a small part of each other’s lives.
I posted on Facebook that I’d become a bit obsessed with the song, and I was so surprised I hadn’t really listened to it much when it had first come out. It was the lyrics. They’re raw. Very truthful. Not something you expect from a pop song, usually. “I’m right over here, why can’t you see me?” They really sum up the experience of being a teenager, or just a young person pining in vain. Melissa agreed. It was a song she said spoke to her.
There was such a pecking order during that time of life, high school and especially junior high/middle school…but still in high school, too. Everyone is aware of it, and aware of where they are. I was never all that high, but I wasn’t quite at the bottom. Melissa was. I didn’t put her there, I was only aware of it. It certainly wasn’t fair. Melissa was goofy, funny, always exuberant, very sweet and very kind. And whenever I think about it, I wish I could have done something about that. Or, moreso, because it’s obviously possible that I could have, but that I would have. I could have danced with Melissa. I should have. Should have done that with a lot of people, if only to just spread the love around a bit, let them know that I cared about them.
I think of her so specifically because she passed away last year, another of my high school acquaintances to have done so. Melissa’s story was tragic in its own way, I think. She died of a blood clot in her lungs. A complication, I think, from abusing nitrous oxide for many years. I don’t know that last bit for sure, but regardless, it was shocking to hear about and kinda see play out real time on social media.
Anyway. It’s a great song, and I’ll always think of Melissa whenever I listen to it.